In Difficult Times I Want To Be Heard, Not Judged

In difficult times we need courageous attitudes.

We have all gone through those times when adversity makes an appearance and, suddenly, we discover who our true friends are, who our true family.

Something that we cannot ignore is that human beings need to feel supported and cared for in those moments of delicate difficulty.

However, at times, we have the clear feeling that the world is made upside down, that few know how to provide authentic and empathetic support without resorting to judgment.

Expressions such as “I already told you”, “you are naive”, “you are confident and that is why what happens to you” does not help or are therapeutic.

For this reason, it is vital that, when looking for authentic support, we know well who to approach.

Let’s reflect for a few moments on this topic that, without a doubt, can be of great help to you.

In difficult times look for authentic people

In difficult moments, loneliness is not good. However, it is even worse to have with us people who intensify our discomfort.

  • Whoever judges you for your mistakes, behaviors or sadness does not help.
  • Those who dare to criticize your emotional state with phrases such as “you take everything hard” cause more damage and further intensify our negative emotions.

When, for whatever reasons, we are in our lowest moments, we must be aware that we are more vulnerable than ever; Therefore, be wise, choose well who you approach.

We don’t look for answers, just to be heard

Something that a person experiencing disappointment, failure, or certain regret needs first of all is for someone to listen to them.

  • Empathic listening is something that not everyone knows how to practice.
  • The most authentic support is that capable of listening without making judgments, without questioning who is in front of us and creating a close environment where fluid communication is possible.

Likewise, it is also essential that, while listening to the person who needs to say aloud what is on his mind and that concerns him, we take care of the language:

  • It is not about falling into expressions such as “that’s nothing”, “don’t worry, everything is fine” …

It is of no use to the person who suffers that we tell them “that everything is fine” because for them it is not, and with these types of phrases what we achieve is to create an emotional distance.

When they impose their point of view on us without understanding our reality

Something that from the psychological field is very clear at all times is that the professional will never tell the patient what to do or which option is the most appropriate for their specific problem.

  • The psychologist will provide us with strategies, adequate emotional tools so that we ourselves make the best decision.

Therefore, when it comes to receiving support from someone, the last thing we want is for them to tell us things like “what happened to you is because you don’t know how to face things, I would have done it this way instead.”

When we are going through a bad time, it does not help us that others point out how they would have done things in our place. With this, we are being judged once again.

All we need is closeness and understanding.

More than words, we need acts

In difficult times it is not enough for us to be told “I am here for what you need or call me when you are ill”. In reality, those who truly suffer are not just grateful for words, what they need are actions.

  • We like people who come without the need for us to call them, friends and family capable of standing before us and intuiting our sorrows just by seeing us.
  • Likewise, the best support is the one that does not limit itself to bringing us unrealistic hopes: you will see how soon everything turns out well and you are the happiest person in the world .
  • What we need is that closeness that knows how to be realistic and understanding “I know that you are having a hard time and that it will cost you a little to overcome all this, but day by day it will hurt a little less and I will be here, with you, to your side”.

As we can see, the most empathetic and wise support is characterized by attending to those details that really heal, that are therapeutic and beneficial.

Do not forget, in complex moments, surround yourself with those people who are authentic, those with goodness in their mind and heart.

 

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